This post is part of Principle 5: Grow your foundation. This article highlights emotional intelligence for kids and how to prioritize it at home.

It was the morning of my son’s school’s Invention Convention. Breakfast felt quieter than usual—too quiet. After a long silence, I gently asked, “Is everything okay?”

He hesitated, then whispered, “I’m a little scared about my presentation.”

I was surprised! This admission was a big moment. It might not feel this way for parents with outspoken kids.

Just a few months ago, that same fear would’ve manifested very differently—meltdowns, whining, tantrums. This quiet, honest confession showed just how far he’d come.

Emotional Intelligence

We often hear about Emotional Intelligence at work, but it’s just as crucial at home.

It's understanding, managing, and communicating emotions, as well as empathizing with yourself and others, to build better connections and relationships.

It includes:

• Self-awareness: Recognizing and naming your emotions.
• Self-regulation: Effectively managing emotional reactions.
• Empathy: Understanding and connecting with others’ feelings.
• Social Skills: Effectively communicating and interacting positively.
• Motivation: Staying driven even when things get tough.

Emotional Intelligence For Kids

Raising emotionally intelligent children isn’t just about creating peace at home—it’s about setting them up for lifelong success.

Kids with high emotional intelligence communicate better, build stronger friendships, manage stress more effectively, and bounce back quicker from setbacks. Building these skills might sound complicated, but it actually comes down to small, consistent actions we practice daily.

The good news is that emotional Intelligence isn’t something kids have or don’t—it’s a skill we can actively teach. Through small, intentional daily actions, we help our kids build powerful emotional skills that boost resilience, empathy, and happiness.

Here’s how we do it in our family:

1. Helping Kids Name Their Emotions Clearly

When our son used to become frustrated, we realized he simply didn’t know how to communicate what he felt. To help him, we developed a simple three-step process:

• First, we validate their feelings :
  “I see you’re feeling frustrated; it’s okay to feel that way.”
• Second, we introduced and regularly discussed different types of emotions, like frustration, sadness, excitement, and nervousness, so he could recognize and distinguish between them.
• Third, we prompt them to reflect on their feelings:
  “Which of these emotions do you think you’re feeling right now?”

It takes so much patience, practice, and consistency. But seeing our son calmly express his fear on the morning of his school presentation was powerful proof that this three-step process was making a difference.

2. Gratitude as a Daily Habit

Since our twins were about two years old, gratitude has been part of our family prayer every night.

We start with the basics: family, health, parents, friends, home. Then, each family member shares one specific thing they’re grateful for from that day. It might be a school presentation or a simple moment like playing together outside.

We sometimes include mundane things they might otherwise overlook, like having food in the fridge, a shelf full of books, a warm bed, or even a reliable car to drive to school. By highlighting these ordinary comforts, we help our kids appreciate the small, everyday blessings they might otherwise take for granted.

This consistent practice has deeply shaped our mindset. It helps us—especially our kids—appreciate what we have rather than constantly focusing on what’s missing.

3. Cultivating Empathy and Kindness

Brandi and I have always believed that the best way to teach empathy and kindness is to practice it ourselves. Kids don’t just learn what we say—they learn from what we do.

Here are a few simple behaviors we practice consistently:

Noticing others:

We encourage our kids to notice when someone might feel left out or unhappy and to think about ways they might help-we also discuss the golden rule: How would you like to be treated?

“Did you notice your friend (or your sister) seemed quiet today? Why do you think that is? What could we do to help?”

We also do this during our weekly Friday movie nights or watching TV together. When a scene illustrates kindness or empathy, we pause and ask our kids:

“Was that an act of kindness? Why or why not? How could that situation have been handled differently?”

Small, thoughtful acts:

Holding doors, saying thank you, smiling and saying hi to neighbors, or noticing when someone needs help without being asked.

Interact with the world around you:

Instead of screens at restaurants, we play something we call the “Questions Game.” We ask each other thoughtful, silly, or creative questions, teaching our kids conversational skills, presence, and genuine curiosity about others. Now they ask for it every time.

We make them order their food at restaurants, and interact personally with people at stores. This small action builds confidence, respect, and empathy toward others.

Reading about kindness:

I wrote a children’s book called A Million Ways To Care, and we’ve read it together for years. It’s filled with stories from our lives, highlighting acts of kindness and empathy we’ve done together.

Through these simple practices, we’ve watched our kids naturally become kinder, more empathetic individuals who genuinely care for those around them.

Back to the Morning Story

I first validated my son’s feelings on the morning of his presentation. I told him I feel nervous, especially before big presentations at work. I explained that this feeling is natural and shows that he genuinely cares. Then, I reminded him that we’d practiced his presentation many times. “You’re ready,” I reassured him. Just take a deep breath. You’ve got this.”

Later, Brandi and I proudly watched him and his sister present confidently to total strangers and other parents. Afterward, he rushed over, so happy—relieved the presentation went well and proud he had overcome his fears.

Conclusion

The same skills—clear communication, empathy, patience, gratitude, and self-awareness—that make great leaders at work are also the skills that help your family thrive.

But here’s the disclaimer: while we’ve had some success, we’re far from perfect. Parenting is messy and challenging. Some days feel amazing; other days feel impossible. We don’t always get it right, and it’s never perfect. But consistent practice and intentionality make all the difference.

Your family is the first team you ever lead.

Equip your kids with emotional intelligence, and you’ll watch them thrive—at school, in their careers, in relationships, and in life.

Thank you for reading!